Today would have been my mother's 89th birthday. That is probably why she has been on my mind lots these days. While talking to my brother on Christmas Day, we both told crazy stories of growing up with Mom. My sister and I have things we say to each other that my mother said to us. They are things that are very odd and make both of us fall into fits of laughter. Sometimes, things were not so funny. Although she was a really great mom, she had her moments where we all thought what the heck was that. I guess my kids will probably say the same thing of me someday. I hope not. We should think good thoughts.
In the comments of my last post, Etienne mentioned some graveyard beliefs in his family. My mom once told me that when she died, it would be up to me to put flowers out on family graves. In my usual way, I pointed out that she had never put flowers on anyone's grave as far as I knew. Why would I do so now? Of course this made her mad at me. I have actually thought about putting some flowers out, someday. My mother also told me that it would be up to me to help with the Chapman family reunions. I pointed out that I did not know those people, and that it might have been helpful if she had taken me more than one time a year to see them. I made her mad again. Actually, I have been in touch with that side of the family and I would like to know them better. I guess when you get older, these things become more important. I still have not been to their family reunions, though.
And then there is Toby's mom. Late last week, Toby called the nursing home and made an appointment to see his mom on Monday at 5 PM. It was the earliest they could get him in. He has been very patient with the nursing home decision makers, because they are the key to seeing his mom. When we got there, they told him that his sister had already been there that day and they only allowed one visitor per day. Toby pointed out that he had made an appointment, that he had taken a half day off of work, and that he had driven 100 miles. I am sure he said it in his "boss voice". They let him in. His mom was not doing great. She was a bit confused and wanted to sleep. She did not eat much, although Toby tried to feed her. After the visit, Toby called his sister to compare notes. The sister said that their mom had been doing better earlier in the day. She probably was just tired. Apparently, the doctor had been there earlier, too, which was also tiring. That said, she seems to be more than just tired. Maybe tired of living. I am glad he got in to see her.
Wow, this post is not very sunny and bright. But I want you to know that my mom was really great and I have great memories of her.
Here is a photo of the two mothers in better times
3 comments:
What a wonderful photo!
My mother used to sigh and say to me, "Who will put flowers on my parents' grave when I am gone?" So guess who it is...Although I live 275 miles away. I try at least once a year. They are in a different cemetery...My parents and many other relations are buried at Fort Sam National Cemetery, so I load up the car with flowers and spend the day there. My sister lived close by, but she hardly saw my mother when she was alive so she did not bother with going to the cemetery. My brother worked at Fort Sam until recently (not the cemetery), so he made it a point to stop by. Now I have not been there to put the flowers on my grandparents' graves, at the other cemetery, since the pandemic started, and I am hoping to go next month.
Family reunions...I hardly know my cousins. My mother was an only child, but my father had many siblings with kids that we hardly ever saw in our lives, though they saw each other. Now I am okay with that.
The nursing home fiasco! Crazy! What was the point of making an appointment if they were just going to ignore it!
I volunteered at a nursing home before the pandemic. The residents are now confined to their rooms. That must be tough! There was a drive-by parade for them, but I could not make it, since my dog was ill.
I'm glad Toby got to see her. I am glad your friend with the sick daughter was able to see her, also.
These are tough times!
FF
Good memories of your Mom. I can’t believe mine has been gone since 1983. I still think when I see a beautiful sunset or a little calf that I should call her. Sigh…
Gene’s oldest sister came yesterday. We had fun. Her daughter from Florida was going to come in Saturday to surprise her and the daughter’s husband tested positive for the virus so they aren’t coming. A real bummer.
This whole thing is a mess. Gene and I refuse to be afraid to live. We keep trying to do things. It is hard though.
Hugs.
FF,
My dad used to like to go to a cemetery in Archer City where we have some relatives (that I barely know) on Memorial Day to help clean the cemetery and put out flowers. Since he did not do anything for other graves of people closer to us, I'm not sure why he did this. Maybe it was his way of staying in touch with those Archer City cousins.
Jo,
I'm glad you got to see Gene's sister, but I hate that the surprise for her fell through due to Covid. It is crazy times. I am so ready for normalcy. If Toby and I show up on your doorstep, you will know we had enough of staying home.
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