Strange Wind

 You know how in the movie, Mary Poppins, there is a strange wind and it brings Mary Poppins in to the kid's lives. Then later in the movie there is another wind and it is time to move on. I guess the change of winds means a change of happenings. Sometimes I feel that. Like there is something going on  - a time for a change. I don't know what. I just feel it. Maybe it is retirement coming. Or maybe it is just the feeling of getting old, having friends who are struggling with health issues or even one who died recently. I don't think I am going to die or anything like that. But as I get older, there is that feeling of time is short - if I want to get something done, now is the time.

Some of it has to do with my art. It is time to tell people no when they ask me to do commissions and such. Commissions are nerve racking - trying to paint someone else's idea and please them. Is that what art is about? Maybe to some extent. I bought some new pastels and I want to play with them. I want to try something new. I am not sure what yet, but I want to be free to do whatever. 

I think I am tired of CTAC and all the responsibilities I have taken on there. I don't really mind the work and being part of the community of art people, but I am not sure if anyone else cares whether I am there or not. There was the whole Arts Expolosion thang where they left me out this year. Being left out was not the problem, but it was not handled well. Then at the last minute they needed me to fill in, which I did, of course. I do want the programs to succeed. There has been some other things - little things, but I feel like maybe someone does not like me. So, I will backoff and let it all ride. As my dad used to say, "Do what they ask you to do, take your paycheck, and go home." I know I don't get a paycheck, but the sentiment is the same. 

You know, it could just be August. I am rather sick of the heat and ready for the fall. The mountains were a nice break, but the mountains make me homesick, for lack of a better word, which adds to my strange wind vibe. August is the new February. I have blogged about this before. I used to get so tired of the snow and cold. By Feb, I was a crazed person. Now it is August and the heat. I want to cut my hair. I want to paint, I want to lose weight. Aieee!

It is probably important to just slow down and get through the summer. Fall is coming! I will slow down on some things - I think it will give me more time to figure out what I need to be doing. I know I need to be more involved in my own art, my church, my grandkids, my house stuff, Toby, etc. It is a good wind that blows.

Another Beach