Friday, December 05, 2008

An Anniversary of Sorts

Today as I drove over to WF to do some shopping and have lunch with Mom, I was listening to my Christmas Il Divo CD. One of the songs was "Somewhere over the Rainbow." While it was playing, I was reminded of my dad who loved that song – especially the Judy Garland version. He also loved "Danny Boy" – that probably gives you an idea of music he liked. Anyway, I had a strong memory of him singing, and it made me a bit weepy. Later while Mom and I were in Sam’s Club, I saw a huge bag of Peanut M&Ms. I laughed and pointed to the bag asking Mom if that reminded her of Dad. She laughed too. Dad loved chocolate – especially peanut M&Ms. While he was sick, he would ask us to take him to Sam's so that he could buy chocolate.

Mom and I did quite a bit of shopping and then had lunch at the Olive Garden. While sitting there enjoying our salad, soup, and breadsticks, I realized that this was the third anniversary of Dad’s funeral. No wonder I had been having so many memories of Dad. I hadn’t really thought about it or planned my trip to WF because of it, but I was glad that I was with Mom and we were doing something fun. In fact, we were having so much fun that I did not remind Mom of the date. I wanted to be happy, and I was afraid that it would make us weepy. It probably would have been okay either way.

Here is a past post of my thoughts at the time of Dad's death. Dad fought cancer for four years and was always a such a great patient.


Jo Castillo said...

Hi, love this story and your post about your Dad. Sounds like a perfect Dad. What a great day for you and your Mom.

My Dad died in 1980 at 80 years of age. I still miss him and want to tell him something funny or have his approval!


Bag Blog said...

Thanks Jo, My dad was 79. He would have been 80 on his next birthday. I really get you on the approval part. Football season always reminds me of my dad because he loved it so much.

inpassing said...

Hey Lou...I remember after you found out your Dad had cancer, I found out that mine had cancer, too. Remember when the kids got married...there was a window of time when both our dad's were doing well. I'm sorry that you lost yours.

Thanksgiving Day was the 8th anniversary of Ernie's mom's death. I think both of us knew it, but neither of us said anything to the other until a few days later. Like you just seemed "happier" that way!

John said...

Lou...thanks for reminding me. It doesn't seem like it's been 3 years already. I do miss him and have such vivid memories of Otto. One is of him (in his brown top hat) and Gene in the Motherlode having a great time with us hoodlums. Another more recent memory is of my Dad and I having "morning coffee" in RR with Otto, Gene and the other men. Such memories are so cherished by this ol' jeep driver. Take care kiddo and tell the family hello...

Buck said...

It probably would have been okay either way.

No doubt. But I think you did the right thing, Lou. I also think your Mom was fully in touch with the significance of the date. My step-mother and I aren't all that close, but we do talk occasionally. And every time we talk about my father she never fails to mention something along the lines of "... it's been 20 years since your Dad died, and I still cry." Better you and your Mom could remember together and laugh.

I'm glad you and your Mom had a good day out.

Bag Blog said...

Inpassing, Yes I remember the time well. I was so thankful that Dad was able to see Bo and Sara marry. He even made it to see GBN1 born.

John, I went into Shotgun Willie's this summer and broke into tears. I'm sure the peopel working there now thought I was crazy. I have that old brown top-hat. I also have his black cowboy hat. I even have his afro wig that he work to torment the boys at the Outpost.

Buck, It was a good day out with Mom, and she probably did have an idea of the date. I always remember exactly when Toby's dad died because I was pregnant with Jesse and it was a few days before my birthday. Jesse has his dark, curly hair and widow's peak - they would have been bad news together.

John said...

Lou...if I was in Shotgun Willie's and saw you in there crying, I would probably have joined you. Brings back the memories, doesn't it. I forgot all about his afro wig...he was a hoot to hang around with. And my Dad really enjoyed him when they could visit in the summers in RR. I just wish they would have gotten to know each other better when I met you and Craig back in '75. When we finally come up there to visit you guys, I would love to see his hats.

Becky said...

Lou, it's something you never fully get over. My dad died 13 years ago and I still find myself thinking of him around the anniversary of his death.

Bag Blog said...

Becky, I know you are right. I am comforted knowing that Dad lived a good, long life.

Towanda said...


I have always enjoyed your stories about your Dad, and I can tell what a larger than life and interesting man he was. I also know that each anniversary is just as tough as the one before.

My Dad died in 2004, several days after insisting someone get an election official in who could bring him a ballot for the presidential election. He was doing well (COPD and heart problems) and then suddenly declined and passed away very quickly. It was just his time. I was not able to make it back home to NY before he died, and I have always regretted that. I do not have the closure that the others in my family had at the time.

Anyway, they live on in our memories and nothing can diminish that.

(I noticed this year the date of his death passed and my mother never mentioned it. I think it was easier for her that way....)