One Dollar:
Sometimes Toby and I picnic at Halliburton Park on his lunch hour. I bring a picnic, and we walk the walking trail after we eat. Yesterday, we had planned to hit some balls on the golf range. It had been awhile since we had done this, and we had to dust the golf clubs free of cobwebs. Both Toby and I took a handful of quarters to get a bucket of balls from the ball machine. Unfortunately, the machine has been changed from taking change to taking only dollar bills. Neither of us had a dollar, but I went back to the car for my purse. After digging through my purse (full of quarters) I found one dollar - soft and well crumpled. Toby and I stood there trying to force feed the machine, but it kept spitting our dollar back out. He would smooth the bill, press its corners down, but still, it would not take the dollar. For some reason, every time the dollar came back out, it made me laugh. It just felt ridiculous to only have one dollar between us and that dollar so worthless. We finally found someone to trade us for a better bill. Then the machine only gave us about 20 balls - we split them, hit them, and went for a walk on the trail.
Dead Dillo:
Later in the day, Toby was mowing the yard as I came from the barn where I had been re-covering another chair.
From the lawnmower, Toby was motioning and pointing at something. I know American Sign Language, but I don't always know Toby Sign Language. After much arm waving, I figured out that he wanted me to pick up something in the yard so he could mow. On closer inspection, I found a dead armadillo
, but it just made me laugh. 'Cause I know the old "finder's keepers" rule worked here. He found it first, so he got to move it. Besides, there is no way I was moving that dead dillo - not without huge compensation. I don't think Toby was willing to pay the price. It also made me laugh to think that having a Great Dane, like Zoe Dog, is fun, but we pay with dead critters in the yard - which Toby had to cart off.Getting old:
On the way to church yesterday evening, Toby passed by a new road-side stand selling food and shaved ice. He read one of the signs, "Pot, Burgers, and Gloves." Wait! That can't be right! So I quizzed him. "Did you say Pot?"
Toby: No, I said poP.
Me: That makes more sense. Did you say gloves?
Toby: No, I said love.
Me: Love? That makes no sense either!
This getting old and hard-of-hearing can be funny stuff. I laughed all the way to church.
Bugs Bunny:
Of course that was not the only thing tickling my funny bone on the way to church. Toby had his usual NPR playing opera music. All I could think of was Bugs Bunny. This was the opera on NPR - And yes, I did wave my hands along with the music:
12 comments:
It just felt ridiculous to only have one dollar between us and that dollar so worthless.
Kinda-sorta like my IRA, which is NO laughing matter.
If you were in El-Eh or SFO you really COULD see signs for burgers and pot. I have no doubt about that.
Is all.
Lou, this is the bestest post I've read all evening, while trying to catch up. I'm iz bizeee...too busy.
Girl, I can just see y'all doing all that stuff. Don't feel like the Lone Ranger about not having dollar bills. I swear, 5 years ago I'd probably have a couple hundred bucks cash on me at any time. Now, I have two debit cards, and pocket change. The times they are a'changin'...
As to the Armadillo. You mentioned that it was "dead," like that was something odd. I thought that they were born dead on the side of the road, until I actually saw a live one running under Wetumka, Okie Uncle Roy's house. I swear, if I had the time I'd tell you about how Aunt Betty got her face all covered with blood while holding the flashlight for Uncle Roy to shotgun one in the middle of the night a few years ago.
I've never met Toby, but I am quite sure that he is the finest of men. But, we all have our faults. If he wants to be the "perfect" man, tell him to EX NPR from his radio. If he can't figure out how to take it off speed-dial, just take out your pistol, and blow the dang radio to pieces.
Great post, Lou. Seriously.
Buck,
My first thought was Northern NM,for the burgers and pot.
Andy,
The Aunt Betty and Uncle Roy story sounds like a Toby/Lou story for sure. As to the NPR, I know it is a bit Left, but there is not much choice here. Since the Oldies station moved to 80's music and country just ain't what it used to be and WPAB is all talk, we just take our grain of salt along with NPR.
Heh! Yeah, I forgot you're pretty rural. Get an iPhone with the Radio Pup App. You can listen to stations all over the nation with it.
I LIKE NPR. Grown-ups can listen to propaganda mixed in with Good Stuff and know which is which. I had NPR on my radio all the way to Kansas and back... it beats the HELL outta hearing "Stairway to Heaven" for the 6,422nd time.
Andy,
Now we are back to the "gun or iPhone" debate.
Nyuk!
Working in a noisy factory with earplugs being required, I'm guilty of mis-hearing a lot of stuff. The constant state of sleep deprivation I live in makes me also misread things quite often. For instance, you don't want to know what I first read "dillo" as. ;)
Becky,
Maybe you need to have your eyes checked or possibly your mind :)
Sigh.......too familiar.
Well, I just got new glasses, so that must not be it.
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