Monday, August 06, 2012

Off Kilter

Last Thursday when I went to Wichita Falls to check on Mom, she decided to come home with me for a few days.  About a month ago, Mom took a tumble in the back yard.  As with any 80 year old, a fall can be pretty serious.  After a few days of pain and barely being able to walk, she went to the doctor.  The doctors found nothing broken, gave her some pain meds and muscle relaxer, and sent her home.  A month later and she is not any better.  I've been calling doctors and hopefully we can find out what the problem is.  Chances are that even if something is broken, not much can be done.  Still, it would be nice to know.

Having Mom around the house has not been a problem at all, yet there have been a few funny incidents.  Friday, I texted my friend the Junk Diva and said, "My mom just said that we could wash my (glass) doors today." The Diva texted back, "That so sounds like something my mom would say." We shared a text laugh.  When I told Jesse about this text conversation, she said, "That is something MY mother would never say!"  Hmm, maybe I need to wash doors. Na.

With the summer heat being in the triple digits, we have not been very active.  Mostly, we have watched the Olympics and read books.  As I said, Mom is no problem, but it has thrown my life a bit off kilter. I need to balance how much I do for Mom and how much she wants to do for herself and how much she wants to do for me.  If she sits too long in one place, she gets stiff and has difficulty getting going again.  Yet to see her try and carry things while she clomps along on her walker (due to the fall) is not easy.  I feel like I need to do everything for her. She wanted to do a bit of laundry the other day.  Since she only had a few things, I told her to pick out a few things of ours to throw in with hers.  Wanting to be helpful, she decided to do ALL the laundry while I was out with Toby and Jesse Saturday morning.  She even washed my new sweater that I had set aside to wash in the gentle cycle or by hand.  It is a little fuzzy now, but maybe it can be fixed or not.

I am very much like my mother's mother - I want to take care of everyone and everything even when I don't need to.  I want to keep everyone entertained and well fed. I fret over what I am doing, what I want to do, what I think I should do, and what I think Mom thinks I should do.  It is just stuff I put on myself - mother-daughter stuff.  I need to relax and just be. It is getting easier, but I do feel unbalanced right now.  And then there are my 50-something-year-old hormones.
Jesse took this pic of Grandma and GBN1. Did I mention that GBN2 and I both have summer colds? Yeah well, summer colds suck.


Buck said...

It is just stuff I put on myself - mother-daughter stuff.

No long, drawn out dissertations here, but Paula had THE worst case of mother-daughter anxiety (for lack of a better term) I'd ever seen in my life. There was really nothing I could do except watch the two of them work it out, which they eventually did. But it took the better part of 15 years. Srsly.

You're lucky to still have your Mom, Lou. Paula lost her parents in a car accident when they were in their early 70s.

I DREAD a summer cold! I think they're the worst variety. Get better, soonest.

Bag Blog said...

Thanks, Buck. I know it is good to have my mom. For most of my life, I have done well with my mom. Things they are a changin' and it throws me. My mom is not the strong, outgoing woman she once was. I guess it is our new rolls that I need to get use to.

Becky G said...

My auntie has a cool, tricked out walker with a tray and pockets for her to carry stuff in.

Summer colds are the worst!

Bag Blog said...

I need a basket for her walker, but I'm hoping she just gets better.