Friday, January 11, 2013

Stinkin' Max

Max, the Great Dane, is getting to be such farm dog! Yesterday, I came home from town to find that he had rolled in fresh manure from somewhere in the pasture, and was waiting patiently for me to let him in the house. He was some upset when I would not let him in - keeping the big dog out while trying not to touch him was tough. We've had dogs in the past that loved to roll in fresh poop, dog perfume, but they were all outside dogs. We just didn't touch them for a while. Eventually the smell went away - as did the green color. But Max has been an inside dog. He comes and goes from the house. I put him out when I go to town, because he is at that puppy stage of chewing on things, but he comes in and stays most of the time.  While Jesse was home over winter break, she left him in the house one day. I came home to find seven shoes strung throughout the house and Jesse's yoga mat in the den along with various shredded Kleenexes. Nothing was chewed up, but lots of things were out of place. He recently went through my book bag and scattered pens and pencils around the office. He ate my apple (a real apple - not a computer). Anyway, I have spoiled him rotten - one BIG rotten puppy.

So yesterday there was the question of what to do with his stinkin' to high heaven big dog self. We left him out for most of the evening. Eventually, Toby and I decided to put him in the shower and try to bathe the big dog. In theory it was a good plan.

For the big dog shower, I decided to get naked rather than getting my clothes wet. I got the towels, the dog shampoo and began to take my clothes off. That is when Toby started messing with me. You know, teasing, touching, wiggling the eye-brows, etc. I was slapping at his hands, and with exasperation, I said, "How does the male brain go from dog crap to sex!" Toby's defense, "You are naked."  I shake my head and role my eyes.

As I prepared the shower for the big bath, Toby went for Max. Things went downhill fast.  Max was scared of the water. He probably weighs 100 lbs. now. The shower curtain went fast. I had to be faster. We nixed water from the shower and went to a bucket instead.  Once he was wet, we had to wrestle him to keep him in the shower.  We gotter done, but it was a mess. I was a mess. Even drying him with the towel was a mess. Then we had the big girl shower while Toby took Max off to the other room. I was worn out. Toby was bleeding. It seems he got caught on Max's tooth.

No animals were hurt in this episode. Neither will there be a video.

13 comments:

Buck Pennington said...

"How does the male brain go from dog crap to sex!"

The male brain is NEVER far from sex.

As for the dog bath... you two are much braver souls than I. I'd have hosed him off outdoors... he would have lived.

Bag Blog said...

That probably would have been smarter. Although we may have all been cold and wet outside.

Stefan said...

Yea, hmm, I vote on raincoats and work boots, outside with a power washer :-)

Barbara said...

I, personally, don't even want to talk about the mental picture that may be stuck in my brain for a while. . .

Becky G said...

Only another dog owner truly understands when he hears you hollering, "Don't you dare roll in that dead thing!" Note: Also applies to green cow pies.

Barbra said...

I do, however, understand what you had to go through to get the dog clean. Our dog or Becky's dog is the first to find that the septic tank needs to be cleaned. There's something about the smell that they do love to roll in.

Jo Castillo said...

Ugh ... first thought. Oh s_ _ t!!

Bag Blog said...

Sorry for that mental image.

Bag Blog said...

Raincoats? We don't really own raincoats. Outside was cold. We were afraid we would all be wet and cold - such was our reasoning. Hindsight, as my daughter says, is 50-50.

Bag Blog said...

My thoughts exactly.

Bag Blog said...

I'm thinking it was horse apples. Max may have eaten a few too.

Barbara said...

Yep, that pretty much covers it.

Stefan said...

That's why I'm a cat person, I think. They don't eat poop or vomit. Their hairballs are easy to clean-up too, as you just have to wait a month for them to dry, and then vacuum them up when they go back to powder form :-)