If I stay up until 10:00 pm, I can chat with Toby as he comes to work. I can also catch him when I get up early in the AM. It makes a big difference in my outlook on life to be able to chat with him daily.
Compartments
On Becky's blog, I made a comment about men and compartments. Becky said she had talked to a man about buying her old house. When she called him, he was out of town and said he would call back, but he had not called when he said he would. She took this as a sign that he was not interested in her house. I commented that he just may not be in the same compartment as Becky - the buying a house compartment. Maybe he is in the work or family compartments. Buck said it was an interesting comment. But it is true - men live in compartments while women live in one big room with lots of furniture to move around. Men tend to focus on one thing at a time. Although they are capable of multi-tasking, they usually are single-minded. They have a work compartment, watch TV compartment, chores compartment, family compartment, etc. They go into a new compartment and shut the door on the old compartment. Sometimes, Toby goes into his work compartment before he leaves the house. When he does this, it is difficult to talk to him - he is already gone although his body is still with me. I'm not saying that they cannot switch compartments, but they just tend to deal with one thing at a time.
It's a girl!
Last week I signed up for a new soldier with Soldier's Angels. The email said it might take a week to get my new soldier. Later, while I was at Wal-Mart, I thought I might start collecting items for my new soldier, but I ran out of time and did not buy any thing for my soldier, yet. When I got home, I had an email from SA with my new soldier' name and address. It was a girl this time! I have never had a female soldier, but I am really excited. I am very used to buying boy things. Now I need to think of what women want. Pretty cool!
Speaking of girls
Jesse leaves this week for her trip to Buffalo, NY. She and Lindsay and Reagan (Lindsay's little sister) will be flying out on Thursday for a long weekend in NY. They will be staying with friends. I know they have a trip to Niagara planned, but who knows what else they will find for fun, but fun is the name of the game with them. I will post their adventures when they return.
Here is a photo they made to send to a friend for his birthday. I think they said something like "it is raining girls".
6 comments:
men live in compartments while women live in one big room with lots of furniture to move around. Men tend to focus on one thing at a time. Although they are capable of multi-tasking, they usually are single-minded.
I think the definition of "multi-tasking" is key here. I can definitely chew gum and walk at the same time, that's pretty easy. But, ask me to hold two or more conversations simultaneously (like I've seen women do, oh-so-many times) and I fail miserably. So, I'm not so sure we men ARE capable of multi-tasking. And I always turn down the music when I'm in the car and following directions (or looking for a house number, say) to someplace I've never been, too. Just another small example...
This is an interesting subject, one that has fascinated me for years. I'm not all that aware of existing studies and or other "formal" explanations of this phenomenon.
Re: the "raining girls" pic. Pretty cool for gals that never learned how to be cool! (big ol' grin!)
Well shoot....I just wrote a missive about the gender communication research (one of the areas I teach!) and I'll be darn if it didn't get lost in cyberspace. Hmmm....maybe there's a message in that for me.
Okay, here's the Reader's Digest version of what I sent earlier -- the literature says this "compartment" idea may be tied to the difference in the corpus callosum (CC) in the female brain vs. the male brain.
The CC, is a tract of fiber that connects the left
and right sides of the brain. As we get older, it begins to atrophy, cutting off the pathways between the left and right sides of the brain. And
that makes it harder to comprehend multiple messages, the study found. Research says that men lose the ability faster than women do. Their downward slide begins as early as age 20 and levels out around 55. For women, the right-left brain communication stays intact until the
post-menopausal years, then drops off. By age 75, men and women are in the same boat....all sinking fast! :)
Lou...it was great to see you this weekend. Loved your place! So sorry there wasn't more time for a "girl's visit." Those 2 yr. olds are mighty sweet, but oh-so-time intensive too! Hope to see you again soon!
I think it has to do with motherhood- either current or future. Women need to be able to multitask for the benefit of their children. After all, it wouldn't be so hot if a mother got so focused on the task at hand that she didn't hear the baby crying. So God gave women the brains necessary to do this.
As for your girl soldier, she wants hand knit socks. How long will you have her? If you'll send me her particulars, I'll whip out a pair for you to send her. 'll need the length of her foot from heel to toe, the measurement around the ball of her foot, and the lenght of the leg she prefers. Of course, these will be leisure socks, for her to wear when out of uniform, but I can also knit her a pair of black uniform socks. They'll just take longer.
The compartment thing is not alway about multi-tasking. It is more about focus maybe. Women are thinking about all sorts of things at once - before one job is over, we are on to the next. Men are more focused on one single job. Whatever compartment they are in, they focus. Here is sort of an example: After a spat, a man moves on rather quickly - he shuts the door on the compartment and moves on to what ever (food, sex, etc.) But a woman will keep that fight in her living room, moving it around for sometime.
Becky,I will get back to you on the sock thing. I do not have an email for her yet - so communication will be slow. I think my time with my new soldier will be short - maybe November for her return home.
Catherine: Thanks for that!! Sounds entirely plausible and goes a long way towards explaining the phenomenon. I think my "downhill slide" began near the milestone age you listed (20), but concluded much, much earlier than that...say about 25. ;-)
Becky: The mom thing probably does come into play. Although I'm a pretty good Mr. Mom when the situation calls for it, like when SN3 comes for his extended visits.
Lou said: After a spat, a man moves on rather quickly - he shuts the door on the compartment and moves on to what ever (food, sex, etc.) But a woman will keep that fight in her living room, moving it around for sometime.
Ya know...that was/is probably the most difficult lesson to learn in the War of the Sexes, at least for me. I was always amazed at TSMP's ability to dredge up negativity during an argument from literally YEARS ago. I thought she might have been keeping a journal or something... listing every single slight, ever... and pulling them out when the time was right. But nope, she pulled off this feat spontaneously... It was maddening because she was always right, too. (As in: I really DID say/do those things.)
And they say "elephants never forget." Sheesh.
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