Diet Miracles

A few months ago, I was speaking with an older man (80 years young) from our church. Toby and I were visiting at his house when he offered us cookies. I declined the cookies saying that I was on my diet, although the truth was that the cookies were the cheap Wal-Mart brand. Since I am not a big cookie fan, plus I did not want to go off my diet for something so tasteless, I just said no. The older man happens to be a big fan of vitamins and all sorts of crap that comes in the mail. He told me I should try green pineapple extract – that it would make me lose weight and I would not even have to diet. Once again, I said no thanks. When he asked why I would not try it, I replied that if it truly worked, it would be all over the news, and it would be on Oprah. The rest of the story is that my old friend became heated, declaring that green pineapple extract would work, and that I should write down the address of the company in order to get some. I said, "Fantastic, give me the address." If you went to college, you know what "fantastic" really meant.

This morning I receive an email from a cousin saying I should try Acai Berry – that it was touted by Oprah to be the rage in weight loss pills. Fantastic!

Glass Vases:
While shopping in Lubbock with Mrs. Bear the other day, we found some wonderful, cheap glass vases at Ross. We decided to start collecting them in case one of our daughters eventually gets married. If we start buying them now and buy one every two months, we should have enough vases to make centerpieces at a wedding reception. Mrs. Bear’s daughter is very beautiful and about to graduate from college. She does have a boyfriend, which puts her a little closer to the marriage thang than Jes. That’s okay. I will let Mrs. Bear go first since she is the décor expert. I will set back and collect my vases and take notes. You have to understand how much we laughed and how much fun we had picking our vases. Come to think of it, she picked out a tall slim vase, and I picked out a short fat one. Is there something Freudian there? Here is my vase with some fall foliage. Can you tell that I am ready for fall?