I can't begin to tell you how incredibly sad this makes me. Thinking of Clay has been heavy on my heart and mind, and I don't even really know him. I first saw Clay on the blog Jake's Life several years ago. Most of you know that I followed Jake through his tour in Iraq, then Afghanistan, and then Team Rubicon. Jake is an amazing young man, a leader, and a hero. You can follow the links and find out more about him, but this is about Clay. I remember looking at pictures on Jake's blog and seeing Clay for the first time. My first thought was, "Wow, look at that smile - what a handsome young man!" I showed the pictures to Jesse, and she remarked on his looks - especially his eyes. After that, I saw Clay in lots of Jake's photos. I saw him dirty and grimy in Afghanistan. I saw him all dressed up at his wedding, I saw him partying on his return to the USA. I saw him working to save people in Haiti. At first I thought of him as Jake's sidekick - every hero needs one, but this sidekick is a hero himself. He was always smiling in those photos as if he were happy to be helping people. For those of you who do not follow the links, Clay died yesterday - apparently a suicide after battling depression. How does this happen to our young heroes? My mind is screaming, "What the hell went wrong?" and "What can I do about it?" Knowing how sad this makes me, my heart and prayers go out to his family, friends, and Jake.