It is difficult to explain the loneliness that I feel when Jesse leaves the house. There is a part of me that loves the alone time, but there is another part of me that is, well, lonely. There is a bit of worry as she travels. There is a bit of envy that she is going and I am not.
It is not as though she lives here all the time - she is rarely home - coming and going at will. It is still an odd feeling - a mixture of glad, sad, and fretful. The fretful part is not worrying that she will do anything stupid. No, she is a smart girl and can handle herself fine. But there is that part that knows the dangers that lurk out there. So when I went through my list of "be carefuls" she rolled her eyes at me and said, "You don't have to do this." Oh yeah, I do - for me.
Never think that I do not want her to go and to have a good time and have great adventures and live life to the fullest. I want all those things for her. Still, I will worry. I will be lonely and will probably always feel this way no matter what her age and ability. I felt the same way about Bo every time he got in his car to go, but I don't really worry much about Bo now that he is married. Is that the solution? Do I give over the worry once they have a mate - someone else to watch over them, love them, and share in the fun? Please God, You know my heart and my desires - they are not selfish.
She finished this painting of Horseshoe Lake yesterday. Here are some silly pictures of her that she posted on FB:
as Jalapeno Pete in the 4th of July parade in RR for Mother's Day. Bo is pretty cute here, too.
And here is a recent picture of her and her nephew. Now I am going to get busy doing some house stuff with my Pandora playing and socks hanging from my ears.