Crazy Monkeys

Today was so crazy, that I just had to share. Tomorrow is election day - probably more crazy.

My mom has a boyfriend, Robert. He has been around for years now. He is very good to take her and do things. Although he was a good friend of my father's, he is not my father and I don't think he wants to be. He tries to stay out of Mom's personal business, but sometimes he oversteps his boundaries. We have had a few dealings.  Still, he means well.

Mom has also had a few boyfriends at the elderly living place. Early last summer, she went out with one guy when she was suppose to go out with Robert. Robert didn't appreciate that, and so they were broken up all summer. The new boyfriend has since moved to another elderly living place.

So while Mom and Robert were broken up, Mom found a new guy at the elderly place - a guy named Larry. I've met Larry. He seems nice enough. I can't really say that he is actually a boyfriend, but Mom seems to need someone to primp for. Anyway, Larry is retired Air Force. He has had several strokes and can no longer drive. That makes him not so great boyfriend material. So Robert has come back in the picture somewhat now. He has been taking Mom here and there, but they have been fighting some too - mostly over Larry.

Does this remind you of high school?

So last week Larry tells my brother that we need to take Mom to a doctor (Mom has been picking and scratching at her head and face for a while now). Pete explains to Larry that we have taken Mom to a doctor. But Larry says that he knows a doctor - he wants to make mom an appointment. Obviously, Pete did not get thru to Larry, because yesterday she called me  to say she had an appointment at 9AM the next day. She didn't know the doctor's name or anything about him. I tell her I will be there at 8:30 to take her.

This morning I got up and headed to WF. I had to leave the house early to get there by 8:30. At about 7:15 Mom calls and asks if I am almost there. No, I'm just getting going. I say that her appointment is not until nine. She puts Larry on the phone. He says the appointment is at 8:30 and we need to be there early - that they are leaving the elderly living place at 7:30. I say, "Do not go to that doctor without me." He says I had better hurry and that they will meet me there. I ask where. He cannot remember the doctor's name. I become a crazed person. He manages to give me an idea of where the doctor is located. I call my brother who is in the vicinity of the doctor's office. He finds a skin doctor's office and goes inside to see if Mom has an appointment. He is told that Mom does not have an appointment, but that her birth date is in the computer - possibly meaning that they had an opening at 9:15 and that maybe Mom was coming then. Eventually, Pete sees Mom and Larry in the Elderly Living Place's van which has pulled up at the skin doctor's office.

In the meantime, I'm driving as fast as I can without breaking the law too seriously and it is raining cats and dogs slowing my progress. A few prayers later and the rain cleared off and I made it to the skin doctor by 8:30. Of course, Mom's  mysterious appointment was not until 9:15. We got in to see the doc about 9:30.  While we were waiting, my brother calls to say that he had called Larry's son. Larry's son was horrified that his dad made Mom a doctor's appointment. And he says that Larry is suppose to be at his own doctor's appointment at 10. He calls Larry on the cell phone to remind him. Larry yells at his son saying that he does not have an appointment. Great. Turns out that Larry has dementia brought on by his eleven strokes. Great.

After the doctor's visit, Larry wanted to take us to breakfast. That went fairly well, although he got my burrito by mistake. When I mentioned to Larry that I was going to take Mom to get her nails done, he said he wanted a pedicure himself. Great.

While waiting on Mom to finish her manicure and pedicure, Larry sat down beside me and started telling me that Mom was still scratching her head and that I should buy her some sort of cap. I must really look stupid to Larry or maybe he thinks I am just some sort of unfeeling hick. Or maybe Larry is just some Yankee a-hole that likes to butt into other people's business. I remained calm. I told him that I knew he had made this appointment because he wanted to help Mom. And that I knew he meant well. BUT...basically I told him not to ever do it again - I spoke very nicely, but firmly.

Then I took him and Mom home. I went to get a prescription for Mom, but there was some sort of problem. The skin doctor was too slow to respond to the pharmacy's request for info and so the prescription did not get filled. Great. I went back to the elderly living place to explain that to Mom. As I walked into Mom's apartment she was trying to call me. It seems Larry had lost his phone. I found Larry in the lobby and helped him look for the phone, made a phone call to the nail place, searched the car, etc. No Phone. So I moved on. This was not my circus and this was not my monkey, although it was a lot like my monkey.