I May Look Stupid...

Today is the first day of September. It is raining here in OK, which is great. The day has cooled down to the 80's. It gives me hope that fall is on its way. The heat is really hard on me these days. While living in NM, I came to dislike the really cold days - breaking ice on the pond so that the horses had water or filling three five gallon jugs full of water and then hauling it to the horses every day. Now, it is the heat that wears on me. But with the coming of September, I begin to see the light at then end of the tunnel. 

Last week was my first big to-do as president of CTAC.  For the last week or more, the Director of CTAC and I have been preparing for a three hour board retreat. Last year, we hired someone to come in and do special talks with us. This year, we decided to go over strengths, weaknesses, and goals. I was not worried about running a three hour board retreat and then having a board meeting. I have been with most of these people for two years now, and we get along pretty well. But the director, seemed worried. She kept giving me papers and talking to me about what to go over. She gave me lessons on looking at the financials. She gave me things to do incase I had too much time left over. I told Jesse that maybe the director doesn't think I am very smart. Jesse said that neither her or I look very smart. 

So Saturday we had the board retreat. It went okay. People talk way too much. I did cut them off now and then. No way could we have too much time left over with this talkative group. Towards the end of the board meeting, I had to fast forward and move it along like a cowgirl chasing cows. Then we had our regular August board meeting. It is usually pretty simple. The first thing we do is approve the minutes and financials for past months. Simple enough, yet this is where I seemed to lose control of the meeting. The old president, who is still on the board and a stickler for following the agenda, started questioning the purchase of a new printer. I pointed out that it was on the agenda and we would get there, but the financials were next. She kept on. The director also pointed out that it was on the agenda. The ex-pres said "No, I want to discuss it now!" So, we let her discuss it, which had nothing to do with the financials we were trying to vote on. It was as if she had to prove that she was still the smart one and in control of things. Such a weird thing! It gave me a bad feeling. 

It seems that lately I have been needing to assert myself somewhat. Back in July when we had our girls trip to RR, I pulled rank on my sister. It made her mad and she called me Otto (our dad) which is not such a bad thing to be called. I had felt things were getting out of hand and I needed to put my foot down. Then last week there was a disagreement with my big brother on FB.  I posted something, which he attacked me personally for. I tried to keep the peace, but I was serious about his ugly words to me and to some of my friends who had commented. I warned him a couple of times, and then I blocked him. Both times I could have let things slide. But it's as if they felt like they could push me around and I wouldn't push back. I am pretty easy going, but I will fight if provoked. Now this thing with the ex-pres of CTAC. I let it slide this time, but I will be on my guard.  Maybe I do look stupid.