Monday, June 06, 2005

Hard Day

Yesterday was a particularly hard day, but it was not work as usual. After my mom called Saturday night to tell me my cousin, Carolyn, was being put in the hospital, we decided to head to WF on Sunday morning. Carolyn had been diagnosed with cancer a few months back. Because she has been a diabetic all her life, and had a kidney transplant things were going to be a little difficult for her. Having dealt with this cancer stuff with my father, I knew things were not going to be easy for her. A month or so ago, I went by to see her and her husband. She was already so frail, but determined to fight the cancer. She was not worried about herself, but worried about her husband having to go through the terrrible illness of a loved one again. His mother died of cancer when he was barely college age. I knew Ted would be strong because he loves his wife and because he is a Barker. I also knew that they were in for a hard fight and it would be tough on them and that they probably would not win.

So we headed to WF yesterday morning. Before we got there, my mom called again to say they were taking Carolyn off of life support. We got to the hospital about the time they took her off. We went into the ICU room and said goodbye. I can't tell you how hard that was. After sitting in the waiting room with family and friends for about an hour, Carolyn died. It was another hard moment, but I think it was also a relief for all who loved her. It was especially hard watching their sixteen year old daughter. Life will certainly be different for her now.

The rest of the day was spent going about normal life - doing the things you have to do, but reflecting constantly on your own life. It makes you stop and think how grateful you are for your husband and your family. You tell each other how much you love them. You constantly pray for Ted and Taryn knowing that the hard part is not over. You call other family members with the news. You are grateful to have those loved ones around you. I am grateful for my church family also - knowing they would step in with anything needed especially love. Thank you all.

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