Monday, October 16, 2006
Some of my blogger buddies have been talking about marriage. It s a subject that I have been recently thinking about, too. After fifty-one years of marriage my mom is now single, and it has not been an easy transition. While dealing with things in her life, I wondered how I would do if I were single again. Could I make it on my own? Would I want to marry again? Buck pointed out some interesting statistics that showed that married people are now in the minority. Society makes it easier today to not be married. More and more people live together or wait until they are older to marry. Buck said he would never marry again; Becky said she would. Both have different reasoning and thoughts – different experiences.
It seems that there is something in human beings that wants to permanently pair off with the opposite sex (I am not going to talk about those who want to pair off with the same sex. – whole nother ball game) I don’t know if it is a cultural thing or a "born in you" thing, but most people marry sooner or later. As young people, it just seems to be one of the things to do in life – a given. Society may be changing that, but I still think that marriage is something most people want. Maybe later in life, after failed marriages or death of a spouse, people may choose not to marry. But there is something in us that yearn to be partnered and committed with someone who loves us.
Toby and I married when I was nineteen, and he was twenty. We have been married almost thirty years. I have been a Baggett much longer than I was a Barker. It is what I know. I know that it takes both people to want to be married. It takes both people to make it work. How did I know that Toby was the one? I am not sure because at nineteen, I was not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I have always been practical, though. I knew I liked Toby – liked being with him. He made me laugh, and he laughed at me. We had the same basic West Texas, Bible Belt values. Both our parents were still married. We had both been taught that marriage was forever. I think those things made a difference for us. Since then, I have learned that it takes dying to your flesh, giving 100% not 50%, and being merciful and forgiving. I am just very blessed to have a partner who wants the same things. Love is a verb – not a noun.
Could I make it on my own and not be married? I could. Would I marry again if I did not have Toby? I have no idea. Yesterday morning Toby and I were working on breakfast together. I was frying bacon while he was getting out biscuits. He said that there were only two biscuits. I said, "Good! I don’t want one." (What part of diet does he not understand?) He sprayed the pan with oil, placed the biscuits on the pan, and put them in the oven. After a few minutes, I said, "You did not turn the oven on." He said, "I thought you would do it." Hmm, if you know me, you know that them was fightin words. Later at church, he leaned over and whispered, "Where is the highlighter?" I whispered back, "You have it." I got the raised eyebrow and the look that said, "Do not!" I told him to look in his Bible bag. He did, and he did not find it. I motioned for him to give me the bag, and I looked through it. When I handed him the highlighter which was indeed in the bag, he burst out laughing (yep, in church). I was able to give him the "I told you so" smirk, but I was laughing too. He said, "I know you had that up your sleeve." Life with Toby is never dull. I am indeed a lucky girl. And he finished our taxes this weekend. I think I will keep him around. He better keep me too, cause he would not be able to find anything if I were not there to look for him.
Jesse went to a coworkers party on Friday night. She said that the women were sitting in the living room talking and the men were either playing poker or at the Ping-Pong table playing a beer game. She said they had cups of beer on one side of the Ping-Pong table and would bounce the ball trying to make it land in a cup. If the bounce were successful, they would get to drink the beer. Jesse thought the entire game was stupid. She said, "The beer was getting hot – why not drink the beer and play Ping-Pong?" That’s my girl – ever practical! She left the party after a few minutes – disgusted. I think she will marry – someday – when a really smart man comes along.