Painting of the Week

It is time for Christmas cards again. I lost most of my snail-mail addresses in last year's computer. If any of my readers would like a card (painting), email me your address.

Mothers, Cowboys, and Packers

My computer connection went down yesterday morning for some unknown reason. This has not happened since last March when I got the new connection. Some way I managed to get it going again by doing all the things that the tech guy had me do back in March. I was very proud of myself when it all worked. Or possibly the connection just came back on, and I happened to be jacking with the computer at the same time.

After art, I met my lady friends for dinner at the Chuckwagon. Then we moved on to do some quilting on the latest wedding ring quilt being made for an upcoming wedding in our fellowship. I would give you all the details, but it was basically a hen party with lots of good-natured teasing and arguing. I must have talked too much, because my throat sure seems raw this morning. My three friends are sharp-witted and lots of fun to be around. We kept up with the Cowboy/Packer game by calling Jesse and Lindsay every little while, but that was just a ploy to check on them.

Although Jes and Lindsay left work early and should have been fine on their travel time, they hit traffic and missed the first quarter of the game. Jesse said most of the the traffic was in the parking lot and very frustrating. They made it to their seats about the time Brett was injured and were very disappointed that they did not get to see him play. Other than that, they had a good time. They got home about 2 AM. Jesse is off to work this morning - aah to be young.

Although Jesse is 25 years old, I find that I am still a mother. As Jesse drove off yesterday, I told her to feel free to call me anytime and often - I was trying not to sound too much like a mother, but still remind her to call. I stayed up last night reading until about 11:30 when Jesse called and said they were on the road. After that call, I went to bed, but woke up every little bit to check the clock. I woke about 2 AM and thought they should be here soon. Sure enough, their headlights hit my window about that time. Knowing that Jesse would be tired (and grumpy) I did not talk to her as she came in - letting her go straight to bed. But I smiled to myself thinking "once a mother, always a mother" and slept peacefully the rest of the night.

Getting Ready

I reek of beauty shop, but my hair and toes look very nice. Because the pedicure thing is rather new to me, I called a friend to ask her what to wear to the nail salon. Think about it - you are going to soak your feet and have your legs massaged up to the knee. During the summer, shorts or capris work well, but what about the winter? Then you will have polish put on your toes - so you can’t wear socks and shoes. I ended up wearing sweat pants and sandals. I felt a bit silly, but then this well-put-together lady came in and took the chair next to me. She was quite lovely with beautiful jewelry, full make-up and the type that gets her nails done on a regular basis. She was wearing sweats (much nicer than mine)and flip flops. Hey, I have a whole new outlook on life. Next time I see a lady wearing sweats and flip flops in winter, I won’t snicker, ‘cause I will know she is headed to the nail salon.

My mom called and asked me to look up Rockefeller Plaza on the computer and get a map so that we can go to the Today Show while in NY. I told her that the hotel would help us with that, but like a good daughter, I printed out a google map anyway. While in NY do as all the tourist do! I’m beginning to be a little anxious about this trip. My plan is to drink another eggnog and relax throughout the adventure.

Hold on to your socks. This bit of news is going to knock them off. Jesse and Lindsay are leaving after work this afternoon and will head to Dallas to see the Cowboy/Packer game. They have free tickets. So with Toby in Scotland, which he says is surprisingly green, and Jesse going to Dallas, I guess I will go quilt this evening with my old lady friends. Maybe I will put those socks on my ears and sing a sad song.

Oops There Goes Another Pine Tree

Toby made it safely to Scotland - no trip trouble. He said the weather was mild, but drizzling. He is able to walk to work. Although the place he is staying at is very simple, it is comfortable. He also said the Scots were more formal than Americans at work, wearing suites and ties. He had been teased for rolling up his shirt sleeves. If they could only see him wearing his overalls to church, what would they think? When I told him that I had been shopping for my upcoming NY trip and bought a coat, a purse, gloves, scarf, and hat, he asked me if there was anything left at the store. I replied that I would go back and check today :) Actually, I am getting my hair trimmed up and maybe a pedicure (such a wild woman).

Art was wild yesterday. I had twelve kids here. We painted small Christmas cards with watercolor. Although my newest students seem to be good at drawing, they were not worth a darn at painting. It was hectic trying to help all of them. The older students worked very well on their own, but I needed an eggnog when everyone left. At one point during class, a student said, "I think your dog is eating one of your plants." I looked out the window, and sure enough, the great Dane was eating another pine tree. We had to have some doggy discipline in the middle of art and maybe put a little fear in my students too ;)

The Mind of a Child

When I was a little girl, I remember hearing the weather man say that we would have “a patchy fog.” I remember wondering why they called it “Apache fog” - maybe because Indians used it for stealth fighting. Which reminds me of a friend of mine who sold real estate in NM - she showed us a particular piece of property in Taos years ago, saying that all the surrounding land was also for sale except for “a patch of Indian land.” In all seriousness I said, “Hmm why do you think there is Apache land in the midst of all these Taos Indians?” My friend looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Then she realized what I thought she had said and I realized what she had actually said and we both had a good laugh. So lately we have been having some Apache fog here in OK. It makes driving very interesting. This morning as I drove into Lawton, I got behind an idiot who was an accident waiting to happen. When I was finally able to pass (get away from) him, I did my best Italian impersonation - I honked, flashed my lights and waved my hands (something I would never normally do, but this guy had made me crazy). I may have even shouted, “What are you doing? Trying to kill us?” as if anyone could hear or cared. When I looked in my rear view mirror, I noticed the idiot did not even have his headlights on - yikes!

The fog burned off soon enough and all was well. I got my oil changed at the Toyota dealership and did some shopping for my NY trip. Some friends were also in Lawton, and we met for lunch which turned out to be a bit like a three ring circus. My friend has agreed to help several young ladies make an anniversary quilt for their mother which sounds very nice on the surface. But when have three girls agreed upon anything very quickly? My friend was very patient with the girls helping them to choose wisely and efficiently. One of the young ladies had her three boys (under the age of three) with her. They are great boys - very well behaved, but no one goes anywhere with three babies and gets there very fast. It just took a long time to choose material and then go eat - I was starving. I just reminded myself that I had no where I had to be and tried to chill and play with the boys. A margarita would have been nice with lunch.


After we separated from the younger part of the herd, things went a bit more smoothly. I had been looking for a new coat to wear in NY and I found one in Lawton. I tried it on for my friend and asked her if it made me look like the Stay Puff man. She said it did not. Then she added, “More like the Michelin Man!” We both guffawed! Nothing like shopping with a good friend. It really was a good day.


Here is a normal T-Day picture of the kid's table. It is funny how when we were kids we all looked forward to eating at "the big table." It never really happened, because as we got older there were still the same amount of people eating - we just had older kids at the kid's table. Jesse chose to eat with the kids this T-Day - someone had to do it, and she still looks like a kid. GBN1 discovered the candy in a cup on the shelf behind her. Tia Jes had to keep her from eating the candy - how do you explain that the pumpkin pie will be much better than a tootsie pop?

I'm Fine

Yesterday afternoon I put Toby on a plane to Scotland and drove home in the rain listening to my new Il Divo Christmas CD. Yes, I would like to be going on a grand adventure in the UK, but it is not my time. I would also like a new house. If I had to choose between a new house and a trip to Scotland, well, I would choose the house. Does my not going to Scotland mean I will get a new house? Not necessarily, but it will help. There is a part of me that is very sad and a bit angry about not going on this trip, but there is another part of me that is really fine with it. The fine part is that I am going to NY next week, I am helping with a young friend's wedding in a couple of weeks, I have my art students to play with, and I get to spend the next three weeks with Jesse doing what ever the heck we want to do. Maybe we will have a party...

Today, I am headed to Lawton to run some errands - maybe do some shopping for my NY trip. I have lots of irons in the fire right now - plenty to keep me busy. I will miss Toby and hope that he is taking good pictures of Aberdeen. I put the heavy Eddie Bauer comforter on the bed last night in order to stay toasty warm. My rat terrier snuggled up close - he has to be touching me. I will be fine the next few weeks and a little envious.

Wild Times on T-Day

Things have been non-stop here since last Monday when I picked up Toby's mom in Electra. The Grand Babies came over that night to see their Great-Gran. Tuesday, we all met for lunch in town. Tuesday night, Toby and I took his mom back to WF where we met his sisters and handed off there mom so that she could visit with them. Toby dropped me off at my mom's house to spend the night and spend Wednesday cooking pies and the turkey. Wed. night, we played "beauty shop". We cut five heads of hair and colored four heads of hair. Everyone got their hair done except for me. It just got too late and too many people wanted their hair done. Oh well, I will just look like the ol' gray mare while in NY next week.

Thanksgiving day went off with hardly a hitch. The first fried turkey did not get completely done in time for the big meal, but we had plenty of regular baked turkey and ham. Speaking of hams, my family has a lot of hams. Everyone had their picture made playing with the napkin rings. Some were better at it than others. Never let it be said that the Barker Clan is not exciting. I guess you could say that we are easily entertained.

Friday morning, Toby's mom called and wanted us to take her back to Lubbock. Someone told her that it was snowing in Lubbock and she dreamed that the pipes broke and her house was flooding. No amount of talking about it would convince her that her house was fine. We drove to Bridgeport to pick her up and then drove to Lubbock. Saturday morning we turned around and came home. Her house was cold, because the heater was not working, but not frozen.

When we got home on Saturday afternoon from our quick West Texas excursion, we had to do some packing for Toby. Have I mentioned that he leaves for Aberdeen, Scotland today? Well, he does - the turkey. He will be there for three weeks. I don't get to go this time for several reasons, but none of them are great reasons. We may have to deal with this issue in another post, but the bottom line is that I am going to NY City next week, but not Scotland. Don't worry, I am the queen of paybacks, and I do have a long memory. Toby may think he is saving money, but he will pay :)

Happy T-Day

Things are picking up speed around here. Yesterday I went to Electra to pick up my mother-in-law (waved at Dale's old house). Then I made a stop in WF at the grocery store and Hobby Lobby. A young friend of Jesse's is getting married and asked me to do some of the flowers for her wedding - hence the HL stop. Today we have errands to run and people to see. Wed. we will head over to WF. Sunday, I will be taking my MIL back to Lubbock. I just don't see much blogging for then next few days. I will take this time, while I have it, to say Happy Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday. I love the meal, the gathering of friends and family, the sandlot football games, the parades on TV, the football on TV, etc. One of my favorite memories is playing "kick the can" while we walked to my grandmother's house in WF. I don't know why we walked to Nanny's house which was over a mile away. Maybe it was to get us out of Mom's hair while she was busy in the kitchen. Dad would walk with us. We would divide into teams. It was more a game of "keep away" as we walked down the street. The team that made the last kick was more or less the winner. Pumpkin our dog would play, too. The toes of our shoes would be all scuffed up, but it was great fun and passed the time well. To this day I cannot pass up a good rock or can to kick while I walk. The family football game in the yard was the other thing we kids looked forward to since we were usually ousted to play outside while the adults watched the Aggie/UT games (serious stuff). This year there won't be so many cousins, but we will still have a game - weather permitting.

So have a great T-Day. Maybe I will blog before then; maybe not. Here is a photo of Jesse and GBN1 taken last night - right before GBN1 put Aunt Jes to "sweep," covering her up, and reading her a magazine (Popular Mechanics).

Out of the Mouth of Babes

Friday night we had GBN1 spend the night with us. She slept with Tia Jes, which was something new and exciting. GBN1 apparently woke up about 2 AM to tell Jesse that she was not “sweepy at all.” At 3 AM, I heard Jesse and GBN1 get up and put the cat out, which Jes normally does before she goes to bed. I assume Jesse did not know the cat was in the house, but the cat was hiding from GBN1. Saturday morning when we were all having our coffee, I asked GBN1if she had put the cat out. GBN1 replied, “Yes, and I said, ‘Jes, what is that cat doing?’ and Aunt Jes said, ‘She is playing cards.’” I looked at Jesse and asked, “Did you tell her the cat was playing cards?” Jesse acknowledged her little story and thought the whole thing was very funny. It was very funny, but this is the second time Aunt Jesse has told something crazy to GBN1 and the story came back around through GBN1.

A little ways back, GBN1 went to the restroom during church with her mother. She told her mother not to go down "that" hall because there were “Jesus monsters” down there. Her mother explained that there were no monsters down the hall. GBN1 insisted that there were, because Aunt Jes said there were Jesus monsters. Sara, being a good mother, called Jesse out of church to question her about what she had told GBN1. Jesse laughed and thought the whole thing was funny, but had to fess up that the week before, when she had taken GBN1 to the restroom, GBN1 took off running down the hall. Jesse had not wanted to chase GBN1 down the hall, so she told her that there were monsters down that particular hall. Jesse never mentioned “Jesus monsters” - just monsters. GBN1 came up with the “Jesus” part on her own. I did lecture Jesse about scaring her niece with monster stories. I’m not sure what to do about the “cat playing cards” story. I do think it was funny, and especially so, because GBN1 tells everything. She will be a great blogger someday, and we will both tell stories on Jesse.

Painting of the Week

It was busy yesterday, but enjoyable. I barely had time to get this little watercolor done. I once took a watercolor workshop with a lady who painted wonderful night paintings with great blacks. I don't think I got the hang of it. I'm just too messy.

Cowboy Geek

My last serious posts had to do with raising daughters and how that is different from raising sons. While writing those posts, I was thinking lots about my son. I don’t post as much about him as I do Jes, but then he does not live with us. I post about his children all the time - does that count? Most of you feel like you know Jesse, but you probably don’t know Bo very well. Maybe I should tell you a little about him.

I was twenty-one when Bo was born. Toby and I were going to college in San Marcos, TX, at the time. We were just babies ourselves. We lived in the married housing near the river. Money was tight, but times were good. We took Bo with us everywhere we went because we did not have money for babysitters. I have great memories of setting his baby-seat on the pool table at one of the local pubs where Toby and the other construction workers went after work. Toby and I took turns going to class and staying home with Bo. I would often put Bo in our cheap garage sale stroller, walk down to the bus stop, and catch a ride up the hill to campus to meet Toby and walk home with him. The college kids love it. Bo was six months old when Toby graduated, and we moved to Dallas where Toby went to work for Texas Pacific Oil (Sun Oil). A big treat was to pack Bo and his diaper bag with picnic stuff, take the stroller to the city bus stop, and ride to downtown Dallas to have a picnic with Toby. We had an old Dodge truck with a car seat that would make mothers today cringe. Bo sat between us doing whatever we did, going wherever we went. He was just easy or maybe we were all just too young to know better.

We always treated Bo like a little adult, and he always acted like one. He loved being part of the pack. He loved to study and read - maybe because that is what Toby and I did. He was a sponge when it came to facts and statistics. He was the kid everyone could rely on and trust to do right I often called him The Little Professor, Mr. Gadget, Mr. Statistics, or my cowboy geek. He is still that same person. He is steadfast and unmovable. He is a rock for his family.

There is also the part of Bo that is fiercely competitive. Whether it is sports or some game, Bo wants to win. Hmm, I don’t know where he got that. He was on the ski team in Red River and was a calf roper in 4H, but it was soccer, baseball, football, and basketball that he loved. While going to OK State, he lived in the honors dorm with the other nerds. He organized their intramural teams and often coached them. We teased him about it, because it didn’t take much to be the best in sports when you lived with a bunch of band nerds. When he was picked to shoot baskets for prizes during half-time at an OSU basketball game, I pictured Niles from the show, Frazier (Bo shot five baskets in 30 seconds and won lots of prizes). Yep, we tease him often, and he is good natured about it, because he is the biggest tease of all - fortunately he is married and can tease his wife rather than me and Jes.

A couple of things about raising a son: I remember watching him play football with the other kids in RR. He was so competitive and rough, I could hardly watch. So I didn’t. I had to let him be a boy. Sometimes before Toby left for work, he would give Bo a list of things to do. I often thought Bo was not ready for some of the things Toby had him do, and I either did them for Bo, or didn’t let Bo do certain things. Toby took me aside and said, “Stop it. I give him those things to do for a reason. He can handle them. Leave him alone.” That was really tough on me, but trusting my husband to know what was best for Bo was the right thing. Toby knew what Bo needed to become a man who would work and have integrity. Women want to nurture and protect their loved ones. I have seen this in other women with sons, and I have seen husbands give in to their wives (not good). I am glad Toby was wise in the ways of men. Bo can be the big nerd who loves to read, play on the computer, and fiddle with gadgets, or he can do mechanic work on his car and be a tough competitor in whatever sport he wants. He is willing to try anything that needs to be done. I love the way he just puts his head down and does what ever needs doing.

I love seeing him with his daughters. He wrestles and plays sports with them. They are rough and competitive like him (yet sweet and feminine like their mother). I am sure they will be nerds. A few weeks ago, Bo and I were watching GBN 1 climb the horse trailer. Bo asked, “Do you think she will make it?” I answered, “If she can get one more hold, she will be on top.” Bo showed no fear, he let her climb, and she was fine. I am very proud of him.

And They're Off...

The day got off to a busy start when one of my art ladies showed up before 9 am. She said she knew I wouldn't mind if she came early, and I didn't. As she came in the house, she looked up at my clock and said, "Is it really only 9 o'clock? I thought it was ten." We got a big laugh out of that and had an hour to paint and visit before the other ladies started showing up. We finished up a little watercolor and some of the ladies began a new painting. By 12:30 they all went home and I relaxed, ate, and started getting ready for the next class. Oh yeah, I threw this blog together to let you know how my day was going. Maybe I will post more later; maybe not.

One Week until Thanksgiving

Here is a picture taken on Monday of GBN1 on a beautiful fall day at the park.

TFNP called yesterday. At one point in the conversation, he said, "So do you have plans for next week?" I asked, "What is next week?" TFNP said, "Well, Thanksgiving for one thing." Really?! When did that happen? I feel a trip to WalMart coming on if I am going to get myself ready for next week. Yikes! Where did the time go? So, I made some calls to my mom, and brothers to make sure we were on the same page (that they realized it was T-Day next week). Who is bringing the beer, the turkey, and the tamales - important stuff? Mom, be sure and pick up some hair color so we can play beauty shop on Wed. night and look fine on Thursday. Everyone has their traditions.

The truth is that I have been a little weepy (probably hormones again) this last week. It was this time two years ago that Dad went downhill fast. Fall and Thanksgiving will probably always be a reminder of those things. Then Toby and I did some cleaning on our storage stuff. I came across an ashtray that Dad always used when visiting here. What a silly thing to make me cry! The great thing about this blog, is that I was able to go back and look at what I wrote, what I was feeling, and what was going on at that time two years ago. Dad made it through Thanksgiving, but was pretty much bedridden. There are some sad memories - like GBN1 who was not quite two years old walking to the bedroom door, pointing, and saying "Paw Paw." But there are some good memories too - like the whole family curled up in the den late Thanksgiving night and watching the Miss America Dog Pageant on TV and rooting for our favorite dog. I'm glad we had Thanksgiving to be together before Dad died. It made us close and gave us strength.

The Princess Tackle

Turn on your sound to hear Jesse in the background. This is my first video. My camera downloads pictures and videos into EasyShare. From there, I have to move pictures to another file before I can post them to Blogger. I could not figure out how to move videos, so I emailed this video to myself and then moved it to a file that I could upload to blogger. Yeha, I hope this works.

When the Show Is Over

The art show closed yesterday afternoon, and we all picked up our art. I picked up Sarah's sunflower for her. She did an excellent job (oils 14x11), and since it is in my possession for a few days, thought I would post it :) While closing the show, Jesse and I visited a little more with our art buddies. Jesse got lots of congrats on her People's Choice award. Then we headed over to see the Grand babies who have had colds this weekend. Jesse took the princess dress to GBN1. I tried to get a good photo of GBN1 in her dress, but it turns out that the dress is more of a World Champion Wrestling dress than a princess dress. Maybe since my son was watching football on Sunday afternoon, GBN1 thought she should play tackle. GBN2 is taking her first steps. She walks between the furniture and across the carpet to the kitchen where she changes over to a crawl on the slick hard floor. We did manage to get a great video of GBN2 walking and GBN1 tackling, but I cannot seem to transfer it from my Kodak EasyShare to my blog. If anyone can help with that, let me know. In the meantime, here is a photo of the three princesses playing in the floor.

Veteran's Day

My sister called to see if I had any pictures of Uncle Bob or Cousin Jim, because her son needed pictures of veterans for Veteran's Day tomorrow at school. She said she was watching "We Were Soldiers" on TV, and asked me what was Uncle Bob's part in the movie. "Technically, he is not in the movie" I told her. "He was at landing zone Falcon lobbing in the heavy artillery that kept Col. Moore's men from being over-run." "You mean he wasn't a helicopter pilot?" she asked. "Mom always told me he was a helicopter pilot" she continued. "No, Uncle Bob was never a pilot, but he did jump out of airplanes occasionally." How do such stories get started? I worry that our traditional family folklore is totally screwed up just because stories that are passed down often get confused. I remember Mom telling me stories of my two Matney uncles in WWII. Carl Matney was a hero in Italy, but she told me the stories when I was young. I was confused at to which stories went with which uncle. Now, I may never know all I would like about my uncles.

The important thing here may not be the stories themselves, although I wish I knew more, but it is the fact that my uncles served their country. Uncle Homer is still alive and well. Uncle Carl died several years ago. I wish I could talked to him. I wish I had heard his stories first hand. I wish I could have thanked him. Many of my uncles and cousins have served their country and I am proud of them and thank them.

So I sent my nephew lots of pictures last night of his Uncle Bob, Cousin Jim, and Capt. Jeff - pictures taken at the Ia Drang Valley Vet. reunion a few years ago on Veteran's Day in Washington, DC. Those are great memories. I think I will call Uncle Bob today.

The last photo is Chip Parker (helicopter pilot in the Ia Drang) Joe Marm (MOH recipient) Uncle Bob, and Joe Galloway - thanks guys!

And Thanks to all who served.

The Art Show

The art show was much fun last night. I saw several of my art buddies and mingled-mingled. There is not much in Duncan to get dressed up for, but I did wear a dress to the artist's reception. My mother made it to the show along with three of her friends. They had stopped at Bill's Catfish on the drive over and had a big time. Mom said the folks at Bill's thought they were awfully dressed-up for an evening at Bill's. This morning Mom called to tell me how much fun they had had. She also told me she had forgotten to tell me how pretty I looked last night. Wow. That probably meant more than any compliments on my art. Any mothers and daughters out there know what I am talking about.

Everyone at the reception last night was able to vote on the People's Choice award. Mom and her friends voted for me, but split their vote between two of my paintings. Jesse had invited several of her friends from Halliburton (young engineer sorts) who in turn, invited other coworkers. All evening there was a herd of young men surrounding Jesse and a few young ladies. When the voting was done at the end of the evening, Jesse's donkey painting had won the People's Choice. Her donkey painting also sold almost immediately. I sold two of my paintings, but I did not win any prizes. None of my students won any ribbons, but they did get lots of nice compliments. Ashley got to meet several of the engineer boys, who were "entertaining" to say the least. She went to dinner with Toby, Jes, and I after the show, and we got pretty silly talking about the people at the show. The photo above is Emily, Sarah, and Jesse posed in front of Ashley's paintings. I had lots of trouble with my flash last night and my photos are not great. Plus, I did not wear my glasses and could not see that so many of my photos were bad until today when I put them on the computer. The price of vanity!

Just a little side note - Two of the young engineers for H. recently attended a job fair in Madison, Wisconsin on campus (if anyone is interested, I will dig up the news article). At the campus job fair, they were beset by war protesters screaming at them. The engineers said it was kind of scary. The protesters said things like, "How can you serve our military dog poop?" The whole thing was just crazy. You would think that college kids would be more up on their news, but just for general information - it has been almost eight years since Cheney was the CEO of Halliburton, and it was never "his company". It has now been several years since KBR was a subsidiary of H. So Halliburton no longer "feeds the military." It is time for people to move on. Oh wait, isn't Move On the one of those liberal groups that cause the problems?

Painting of the Week

Things were busy at art yesterday, and I did not get to finish a painting that I started. Fortunately, I did a small painting with my art students on Tuesday. It was this very simple watercolor. Wednesday was busy with art, but I was framing paintings for the art show. I put a few more frames together on Thursday, and we got all our paintings turned in to the art show. In all the fun and excitement, I forgot to take photos, but I will take a few tonight at the art show. My mom is coming to the show. It will be her first time to see my work at an art show.

Toby has about six days of vacation left this year. He has plotted them all out through Nov. and Dec. Today is one of his days off, which is great because it should be a beautiful day here in OK. As soon as the fog clears, we should be able to get some things done around the farm. So the good news is Toby has the day off. The bad news is that he will work me like a sled dog, and I will have little time for my computer today.

I do want to share a few funnies. My daughter-in-law has taught GBN1 to use the speed dial on the cell phone in case of emergencies. Well, we have had several "emergencies" already this week. GBN1 calls me at least once a day and says, "Booboo, what you doin? I need to come to your house." Then her mother snags the phone and explains that GBN1 got the phone again without her knowledge.

Jesse went shopping last night for something new and exciting to wear to the art show tonight. She found a beautiful dress - pictures will be taken tonight. She also found something for GBN1. It was a princess Halloween costume on sale - purple and greens and flowing scarves...Jesse said, "Isn't it great? I want one too!" Girls are forever princesses.

Art Preview

Lindsay said yesterday's blog was "a little intense" and she was surprised that I did not get more comments and that the comments that I did get were pleasant. That is because she knows what kind of reaction we normally get on our child raising choices. Her comment was also a reminder that most of my readers like my silly, light-weight posts rather than the serious stuff. Not to worry - I'm never very serious for very long.

Yesterday was a busy day getting ready for the up-coming art show. I framed paintings all afternoon and still have a couple to do today before the art has to be turned in after 3 PM. This is a "miniature" show with no paintings larger than 11x14. Here is a preview. Jesse's donkey painting done in acrylic. Emily's flowers done in oil. Kara will bring her cowboy pastel to art for me to frame; I will snap a photo then. Sara Ann may bring her painting, too. I think my girls did an excellent job. Just getting a painting done and ready for a show is lots of work. Tomorrow night, there will be a reception to view the art, drink wine, eat cheese, and act like adults. Excitin' times in Duncan.

In the meantime, Toby is in charge of a baby shower at his office (you heard me) and I must go and help him out today. They are having a tailgate party/baby girl shower. They are cooking burgers and drinking root beer. I think they are planning some sort of diaper throwing contest. That is what happens when you leave the planning to the men of the office.

Raising Jes

I wrote much more about how my parents raised me and my brothers. Then I decided that the message was simple enough. There were definite differences in how we were raised - some because we were male and female - some because we were just different personalities. There were lots of mixed messages in my up-bringing. Shelly said she and her brothers were still paying therapy bills for being treated differently (by parents) not only because of their sex, but also their age. Shelly made me laugh, but sadly, her statement is very true for many of my generation. Is it because we were raised by the old school, conservative way of thinking at the same time Women’s Lib was making itself known and accepted? My dad was very pro-education. He expected us to go to college and have careers, but there was an underlying message to me that my career choice was not as important as my brothers’ and I should consider a career that would be secondary to my husband’s. “You should get an education incase you get a divorce” was the typical advice of the day. Of course, you were not suppose to get a divorce, but if you did…another mixed message.

The women’s movement put lots of pressure on us girls to get and education and to go to work. We were suddenly guilt ridden if we stayed home and raised kids. We were told we could do it all - have it all. It was presented as a great and marvelous thing - working, being a wife and raising children. “You can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let him forget he’s a man, ‘cause you’re a woman!”

This is where I get offensive. I bought in to this way of life for a long time. I got my college degree with one husband and two children at my graduation. Two weeks after graduation, we moved to McAllen, TX. I got a job teaching high school in Mission. I dropped my babies off at daycare before 8 AM and picked them up before 5 PM. I was a good wife and mother keeping a clean house and making it all work the best I could. Even while I was doing what all mothers did, I had that nagging feeling of, “Who is raising my children?” and “Do I really want this public school for my kids?” You can go back and read about my decision to home school, but that was the turning point in raising our children. I finally gave up trying to raise other people’s kids with little to no success and decided to take care of the two children that God gave me. It was a big step, and it was met with lots of opposition. Surprisingly, that opposition did not come from my dad. But hey, I was told I could do and be what ever I wanted, and this was what I wanted.

In educating and raising our children at home, we could meet their individual needs much more easily. We could explore their different interests. Jesse wanted to be a pilot. My thought at the time was that she would make a great pilot - how cool it would be if she were a female fighter pilot or helicopter pilot, and yet, there were those thoughts of “is that really what I want for my daughter?” On her eleventh birthday, we surprised her with an airplane ride from Taos up the Rio Grande, over our house and into the Rockies over the high mountain lakes and back. She could not see out very well and got a little sick although she did not throw-up. She was a little disheartened with flying, but continued to love airplanes and read about them.

It was during the early home schooling days that our family began to change. We became more conservative and quit voting for Democrats (thanks Mr. Clinton). Christian homeschooling organizations were also an influence as well as our church. We had some pretty radical thoughts on raising children, and once again, our decisions were met with opposition from friends and family. But understand, the decisions we made concerning our kids were always discussed with our children and our children were agreeable. We didn’t really know how these radical decisions would work out, but we committed our selves to them.

One of these decisions was to raise our daughter to be a wife and mother and to protect and guard her carefully until that time. There were similar decisions in raising Bo, but I will keep my thoughts on Jes for now. That may not seem so radical, but let me tell you, it really throws people if you say it out loud. Even though the majority of girls grow up to be wives and mother’s, it is no longer politically correct to let that be your ultimate goal and teach you daughter how best to be a wife and mother. It is also not PC to protect your daughter as we have, but good grief the thought of turning her loose before she was able to take care of herself seemed even more offensive. I think this is one of the biggest problems for young ladies today. They have been taught to be career women and all that goes with that, but they are sorely lacking in knowing how to love a husband and meet his needs much less those of their children. Then when they try to have both a career and family, they are not prepared, they are guilt ridden about their short-comings, but they continue on because that is the way things are done today.

Now, let me say that I have nothing against women having a career or working. I realize that some women choose that lifestyle and others have to work and raise kids. But the best way, the ideal way, is to choose one or the other - be a wife and mother or be a career woman. The “women’s libber” in me is still strong. I believe in equal pay for equal work. I believe women should be taught to do all sorts of things and choose their way. I believe education is very important for women as well as men. I know how strong women are and that they able to do many things a man can do. If that is what they choose, more power to them. But, if they choose to be a wife and mother, I would rather them not sacrifice the raising of their children turning them over to the government to raise.

As for the women in the military, I see nothing wrong with women choosing to serve their country, but this is a decision much like marriage for a woman. You are no longer your own person, but you belong to the USA. If you choose that, go all guns! But I got a real problem with women who choose a husband, military, and children. You cannot serve three masters. Someone is going to be neglected. If Jesse were to make a choice for the military, and she would be great at it, I would expect her to not get married and have children during her military career. I also have some thoughts about women serving in combat situations. That just seems wrong on some level. I know there are women who are capable of doing it, but that does not make it right. For all our equality training in this world, I don’t think everyone is really ready for men and women serving in the foxhole together. You may know of incidents where it has worked perfectly well. I know of incidents where it has not. If men and women can serve together on the battlefield, what is the argument against gays in the military?

I have raised my daughter to know she is capable of doing anything, but her life is not her own. She is strong and courageous, she is smart and educated. She has held a job at a major company. She has jumped out of airplanes, rock climbed, scuba dived, para-sailed, and traveled. Some day she will be excellent wife because she has been trained in all areas, and because she wants to be a wife. Someday, she may get her pilots license or she may be an engineer building things. My uncle once asked me why Jesse was not a pilot. I told him that I had raised her to be the wife of a pilot or the mother of a pilot. Is that not just as important in life?

Raising Children

A little ways back, I made a comment to Buck about Jesse wanting to be a pilot being fascinated by all things that fly. Buck replied with something about considering the USAF. Here is my response: At one time, we considered a military career for Jes and the thought still rolls by us now and then. She would be great because she is a courageous and upright young lady (not to mention smart), but I have some thoughts on the subject that I will have to share with you some other time or place so as not to offend anyone.

Then a few days ago I read an interesting post at Requiem about raising his young daughter wanting her to be able to do anything that she wanted and being happy with whatever she chose in life, but there was also the implied questions “Do we raise girls differently than boys, and do we protect our daughters more than our sons.” I find the these questions to be thought provoking and since I have not offended anyone (that I know of) lately, I might go ahead and spout my thoughts on the subject of raising kids.

First of all, I think we do raise daughters differently than sons, subconsciously or not. And why not? They are different. As a public school teacher, I realized that all kids were different, all learned differently, and all were not equal. To be a good teacher, you had to know your students and meet their needs accordingly. It is the same with parenting. For those children who cry “She’s playing favorites!” get over it. Some kids are more needy than others. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them all.

My brother, Craig, is thirteen months older than I. Did our parents raise us differently. Yes - probably because we were very different, besides being male and female. Yet, they raised us almost like twins. We did almost everything together growing up, including wearing each others clothes (jeans and t-shirts). I was a tomboy. I could do anything Craig could do. I wanted to play with him and his friends. I loved playing sports and army. About the time we got into public school, he did not want to play with me if his guy friends were around, although, I often did, because his friends liked me. Craig did not want to play with “girls”. He didn’t like for me to wear fingernail polish or “girlie” stuff. Sometimes I met his requirements in order to play with him; sometimes I flaunted my feminine ways to aggravate him. I don’t think that was taught by our parents; I think Craig picked that up somewhere else, and it was an age thing. When he began to think my friends were cute, things changed. I became a little more useful to Craig.

My dad did expect more from Craig in school, sports, and protecting me. Dad did not think I was as smart as Craig until he had our IQ’s tested. Mine was a little higher than Craig’s, but still expectations for Craig were always higher than for me. Craig took honor classes and I did not. Dad went and visited Craig’s teachers when he did not think they were teaching well, but not mine. On some level, this bothered me, but not really. Like I said, I was a social creature who loved fun and friends. Craig loved school and learning and homework. There could have been a subconscious thought that being a girl, I would marry and be taken care of so I did not need the education that Craig did. I never asked my parents why they pushed Craig harder than they did me. I was just glad at the time that I did not have to take hard classes:)

I do remember the day that I realized that Craig was physically stronger than I was. We were about nine and ten years old. We had gotten into an argument (not unusual for us) and I hit Craig. He lost his temper and decked me with one punch. Hmm, the light bulb came on. I would never be able to physically overtake Craig and there was no point in trying. But using my intelligence, I could hurt him. I became the queen of paybacks. It is something I still struggle with and try to overcome.

As I look back on my growing up years, I know that I was just as smart as Craig, but some expectations were different. I played all sorts of sports and was just pretty darn good, after all, I had been hanging with my brothers all of my life, but Dad never thought my sports were as important as Craig’s athletic career. I wanted Dad to teach me to jump the high-hurdles. I wanted him to come to my games, but it just never occurred to him that it was important. On the other hand, my dad did not neglect me. I was a daddy’s girl. I went everywhere with him. He woke me up early on weekends to take me with him wherever he went - junk yards, jr. varsity football games, have coffee with the men, etc. Dad talked to me like I was special. We did things that he never did with his sons. Looking back, I think my brothers envied me those times. Did Dad mean to leave them out? No, but at the time, the boys were not interested in tagging along with Dad. I don’t think Dad made a conscious effort to leave them behind. He just used that time for me and other special times for them. It is just the way things go with parents of four kids.

How my parents raised us had a definite impact on how I raised my children, but I will stop for now and write more on that later. Eventually, I will explain Jesse's choices and probably offend someone.

BRB

I'm off to WF this morning and will post later today. I did find this new milblog of sorts. I think the young man is an excellent writer and has some thought provoking posts, but he is different. Let me know what you think.

Painting of the Week

Most of my PoWs have been small paintings easily knocked out in one sitting. Occasionally, I have done a larger painting like the one I did this week. I have been wanting to do a pastel lately, and I love doing people. After I sketch the person, I start in with the color. It really does not take me long - I am a fast painter. Most of this pastel was done in two sittings. Because I want the painting to look like the person, I often keep it out for a week or so to look at it. Usually, I will find little things to change and make it look more like the person. This person is an old friend from RR. Annette, if you like this, it is yours.

I recently had a discussion with a member of our art guild. We discussed right brain and left brain people. My friend thought that not all artist were rt brained - some were just wanna be's. Becky recently had a test on her blog whether you are rt brain or lt brained. I think I am pretty much rt brained, but some of the traits of a rt. brained person do not fit me. I like to talk or listen to music or watch TV while painting. I love noise. I love having my art girls here and chatting while we paint. But one trait of a rt brained person is they become so absorbed in their project that they cannot talk or think of anything else, and do not like distractions. Not me. Yet while working on this pastel, I actually forgot the time and was late to a lunch date with a friend. Maybe I am more rt brained than I thought.

To do a little bragging, I am posting two paintings of one of my student's. These are the paintings she is going to enter in the up-coming art show in Duncan. I think she did an exceptional job on them. If she minds my posting them, well, she shouldn't have left them at my house:) My other students are doing great too, and have some great entries for the show, but I don't always have access to their work. Maybe I will take pictures at the art show and sneak them in on my blog.

It's All about the Costumes

When the kids were little we would dress them up in costumes and take them to a few friend’s homes for some trick-or-treating. They didn’t need much candy and the fun was the costumesand showing off our babies. Things changed a little when we moved to Red River. The town does not exactly have neighborhoods so kids do not really do the old fashioned ToTing. Instead, the PTA would organize a fall festival/carnival for the kids at the Community House. Just about everyone in town would turn out, most dressed in costumes. Most of the costumes were homemade and great. We set up booths with games and such for the kids. They won prizes, but not usually candy. We gave out cheap toys and school supplies (rulers, pencils, erasers, etc). The cake auction was a big part of the evening and a real money maker for the PTA. After the carnival, parents would take their kids home, tuck them in bed, and head to the Bull of the Woods (local bar) for the real costume contest. Halloween was great fun.

After moving to Questa, the kids were older, we were home schooling, and due to some religious thoughts, we quit making Halloween such a big to-do. Maybe dressing up as witches and devils and such is probably not great. Maybe it is celebrating things that are basically evil. Maybe Halloween is a heathen holiday. I don’t think I really care. It is the costumes that are so much fun. Everyone loves to dress up. The fun is in coming up with crazy costumes that will have everyone laughing. The fun is in seeing what everyone else came up with and maybe finding others who had similar costumes as you. Costume parties are just the cat’s pajamas. Unfortunately, Halloween is the only time of the year that people tend to have such parties. Why is that?

Because everyone loves to wear costumes, our youth group at church started having a costume party usually on New Year’s Eve. Sometimes there was a theme; sometimes not. One thing is for sure, the young people loved planning and dressing up for the party. In fact, Jesse and her friends will use any excuse to dress in costume - like Valentine’s Day.

Last year, Jesse and her friends went to a coworker’ Halloween party dressed as past Presidents. They had more fun getting ready for the party and taking silly pictures than they actually had at the party. This year, no one had a party. Jesse was down last night. She wanted to pass herself off as a teen-ager and go trick-or-treating. She wanted to dress up her nieces and take them around to a few houses. I party pooped on her plans saying she was too old to TOT. So she started telling me Halloween jokes and laughing like they were really funny. What did Dracula’s girlfriend say after they kissed? Ouch! Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? He did not have any body to dance with. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? He didn’t have the guts. And so on…
Okay, maybe I should have let her go TOTing. Maybe she is still just a kid at heart.